Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
