he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
