24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
