the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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