I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
These tits shall not be calmed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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