even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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