Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
