Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
