i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
