my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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