I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
