I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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