Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
