her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
