dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
