I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
