plz talk dirty to me
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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