8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
