im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
