it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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