Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
