It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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