Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
