last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
