so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
