One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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