This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
