have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
