I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
