I just saw a hot homeless man
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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