great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
