I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
