Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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