i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
