when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize