Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
