With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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