Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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