$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
