if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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