proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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