do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
