I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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