he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude. I can hear the air.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
