So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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