I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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