Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
