Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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