I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
