I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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